


Someone To Kiss And Cuddle

by malfoys_minx



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Anal Sex, Bottom Steve Rogers, Friends With Benefits To Lovers, M/M, Not Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Compliant, POV Bucky Barnes, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Top Bucky Barnes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-13
Updated: 2021-01-13
Packaged: 2021-03-18 08:47:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28740480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/malfoys_minx/pseuds/malfoys_minx
Summary: After seven decades apart, Bucky and Steve were finally reunited; best friends, roommates, brothers in arms... They were also having sex, although admittedly that part was pretty new. Still, it was no big deal, just a bit of casual fun, and Bucky hasn't felt this good in years. That is, until he caught an unguarded expression on Steve's face one night and realised that maybe things weren't quite as straightforward as he'd first thought. Because Steve didn'tlooklike this was just a bit of casual fun to him and suddenly Bucky found himself questioning everything he thought he'd known about his relationship with his oldest friend.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Comments: 16
Kudos: 332





	Someone To Kiss And Cuddle

**Author's Note:**

> So, I got a new job. It's been frying my brain for the last few months and, extended lockdown(s) notwithstanding, finding the time and head space to write has been tricky. It's calming down, but we're not there yet, so... I'm not saying I'm back, but... maybe I'm back?

Bucky pulled out carefully, disposing of the condom before flopping onto his back on the bed beside Steve, his breathing slowing with his heart rate as his body settled into post-orgasmic lethargy. 

"Ok?" he checked automatically, gaze flicking from its hazy regard of the ceiling to his best friend's face. 

"Mhmm," Steve hummed back absently, not even bothering to open his eyes. 

"Mind if I sleep here?" he added, more out of habit at this point than any real need for permission. 

"Long as you don't steal the covers," his friend retorted. 

"I'd never," Bucky protested, tugging the sheets up over himself and immediately turning onto his side, pulling most of them with him. 

"Jerk," Steve snorted, the mattress shifting behind him as the other man reached over in an effort to grab his portion of the bedding back. 

Doubling down, he tightened his grip a little further, just to make Steve work for it, only for his fingers to abruptly slacken their hold when he caught an unexpected glimpse of his friend's face. 

Steve had been in the middle of putting away his laundry when Bucky had jumped him, a good portion of which now lay scattered across the floor, and the closet was still hanging open as if waiting for Steve to come back and complete his abandoned chore. The change in angle, however, left the mirrored door pointing straight at the bed and from where Bucky lay, bundled up beneath Steve's huge fluffy comforter, he had a startlingly clear view of the way his friend was looking at him. 

As the other man tugged the covers free, seemingly oblivious to Bucky's preoccupation, all Bucky could do was stare, completely floored by Steve's expression. He'd _thought_ that tonight had been the same as always, no different to any of the other countless times they'd fallen into bed together over the last however many months... Six? Seven? More? Hell, he didn't even know how long it had been since they'd started this, mostly because he had never supposed it mattered. There was no special date he needed to keep a note of, no anniversary to celebrate, it wasn't like that, had never been like that. It was sex, pure and simple; a way to let off a little steam or burn off some extra adrenalin and it was perfect exactly how it was. He hadn't felt this good in decades, happy and sated and deliciously worn out in the best possible way, and his only regret was that they hadn't started doing it sooner. 

Except that Steve didn't _look_ like this was just a bit of casual fun, not to him, and the way he was gazing down at Bucky now, his face so full of tender devotion, cut him to the quick. That was _not_ the way you looked at a friend, even one you happened to be sleeping with, and he didn't have the first idea what to do about it. And then Steve asked the same question he always asked... 

"Don't I get a goodnight kiss?" 

Only Bucky could still see Steve's face as he pulled the covers over himself, could see the way the light, teasing smile in his tone didn't even come close to reaching his eyes, but they had a damn _script_ for this. There was a way that this was supposed to go and his own response was so ingrained now, like the words had somehow already worked themselves into his muscle memory, that his standard put-down slipped out before he could think better of it. 

"You want someone to kiss and cuddle, get yourself a boyfriend." 

The way Steve's face crumpled at that, as if he'd really thought that this time Bucky would say something different, hurt more than he could ever have anticipated and his friend's disappointment was so achingly transparent, that Bucky could almost feel it too. 

"Whatever you say, Buck," Steve retorted as usual and that should have been the end of it. Except, for the first time, he could hear the defeat in the other man's voice and it was too much. 

Bucky was turning to face him before he'd consciously decided to move, though he instinctively knew it was already too late. Even as he twisted around beneath the sheets, he felt the bed shift as Steve settled down beside him and when he came to a halt he found himself facing the smooth, hard line of the other man's back, presented to him like an impenetrable wall between them. 

"Steve?" he murmured, only he couldn't seem to find the breath to project the sound and it came out so quiet that he wasn't sure it had been audible at all, even with his friend's enhanced hearing. 

In any case, Steve didn't respond and whether he simply hadn't heard or if he was choosing to ignore him, Bucky didn't have it in him just then to try again. After all, he hadn't got the first idea of how to fix things and as much as he wanted to say something, _do_ something, he didn't know what to say, what to do. Didn't know how to wipe that broken expression off of Steve's face and make sure it never _ever_ returned. 

He didn't know how long he lay there in the end, his thoughts whirling as he stared at his best friend's back; at the gentle flick of his hair where it caught against the pillow and the slow shift of those ridiculously broad shoulders as they rose and fell with each breath he took. He loved every strand on that head, every inch of that skin, he always had, but it had never been romantic. Even when they started falling into bed together, he'd never thought of Steve like that. Sex had just been another thing they had in common, another tool to use to help and comfort each other. Or so he'd thought. Had something changed recently or had he been hurting Steve all this time and he just hadn't known it? 

He wanted to make things better, wanted it so bad he ached with it, but instead he lay there silent and still, helpless in the face of his own inner turmoil while the other man's breathing evened out in sleep. It was a long time before Bucky joined him in repose. 

\---

Bucky stayed out of Steve's bed for a good while after his unexpected glimpse into his friend's feelings. He knew that the sensible thing to do would be to simply talk about it, but he didn't know where to start, let alone what to say. Instead he avoided it completely, pretending not to understand the other man's veiled come-ons and resisting the temptation to start something himself. It wasn't ideal, admittedly, but it was working well enough and he'd almost managed to convince himself that there was nothing to worry about at all until the door slammed open one evening and Steve stormed into their apartment. 

A single raised eyebrow was all it took for the other man to start ranting, pacing up and down as he raged at Tony and Fury and everyone else who had apparently had a hand in the clusterfuck of a mission he'd just returned from. The longer he spoke for, the angrier he got, until Bucky could practically see the steam pouring out of his ears and he belatedly realised that simply venting his grievances wasn't going to be enough to shake Steve out of his funk. Of course, there was one thing he knew would get through to him, something he'd been doing a damn good job of avoiding, but he'd have been lying if he said he didn't want it, didn't miss it, and if it would help the other man calm down before he talked himself off a ledge... 

Pushing himself to his feet, he stalked after his friend, catching hold of his arm mid-step and forcing him to a stop. 

"Steve..." he shifted sideways so that he could face the other man head on. 

"I'm going to fucking kill him this time. Gonna take that damn armour and shove it down his fucking throat if he even-" 

"Steve," he repeated a little more sharply, cutting him off mid-sentence. 

"What?" Steve snapped, yanking his arm free and taking a step back, presumably in an attempt to resume his pacing in another direction. 

" _Steve_ ," he said once more, only this time he let his voice drop low, the sound edged with husky promise as he gave the other man a pointed shove backwards. 

For half a second his friend simply stared at him, then his breathing hitched and he was abruptly grabbing hold of _Bucky's_ arm as he all but dragged him, unresisting, towards his bedroom. 

The door slammed open so hard it bounced against the wall and crashed back into Bucky's shoulder, the wood clanging loudly against the metal, but neither of them paid it any mind as Steve manhandled him towards the bed. When they were still several feet away, the other man shoved him back with enough force to send him stumbling onto the mattress, but rather than following him down, Steve instead turned his attention to his own clothes, stripping quickly. 

Catching on fast, Bucky hastily got to work on his own outfit, hauling his shirt over his head, before shoving both pants and underwear down over his rapidly hardening cock. He managed to kick the whole lot off just as Steve joined him on the bed, the lube already open in his hand and an intense expression on his face. Whether it was purely from the adrenalin of the mission and his residual anger at his fellow Avenger or if it had more to do with how long it had been since they'd last done this, Bucky couldn't say, but whatever was driving him, it had taken Steve's already limited patience and shattered it into pieces. So much so that he had two fingers buried in his own ass between one breath and the next. 

"Put it on," Steve rasped, tossing a condom at him even as he pushed a third finger into himself and _surely_ he wasn't stretched enough for that yet. 

It was on the tip of his tongue to warn his friend to slow down, that neither of them were going anywhere and there was no point hurting himself, but he'd known Steve for far too long to even attempt voicing his thoughts on the matter. If this was how the other man wanted it, this was how it was going to be and all Bucky could do was lie back and watch with something akin to awe as Steve climbed over him, still fucking himself on his own hand. 

Hastily rolling the rubber over his dick, he'd only just let himself go when his friend apparently deemed himself ready. He'd been far quicker about his prep than Bucky ever would have risked, no matter how desperate he was feeling, but it was hard to stay focused on his concerns with the other man looking so intent. Still, when Steve abruptly pulled his fingers free of his ass, grabbing hold of Bucky instead and giving him little more than a perfunctory stroke before lining himself up, he was forced to speak up. 

"Fuck, Steve, wait," he cursed, his metal hand clamping down hard on the other man's hip as he flailed blindly for the discarded bottle of lube, "At least slick me up properly if you're not going to open yourself up right." 

"I'm fine," Steve gritted, but for once he didn't even try to fight him. 

"Maybe _you_ are, but I'm not," he insisted, finally locating the bottle only to have it yanked out of his hand. "I'm not going to hurt you," he added determinedly, though his friend had already pushed himself back up onto his knees, his hand smearing so much lube over Bucky's cock that he could feel it dripping down over his balls. 

"Happy?" Steve demanded, tossing the bottle aside again and holding him in place as he pressed the tip of him against his hole. 

"Ecstatic," he retorted, only to trail off with a garbled moan as Steve suddenly sunk down onto him in one smooth motion. 

The other man was always tight, no matter how diligently Bucky stretched him, but this was something else. Steve gripped him like a vice and for a moment he wasn't sure he'd last long enough to be of much use at all. Fortunately however, no matter how big a game he talked, Captain America was still only a man and even he wasn't dumb enough to push himself past his own limits. No matter how fast he healed, Steve knew perfectly well that it wouldn't be fast enough for them to keep going if he actually injured himself and this wouldn't be a whole lot of fun for either of them if he got hurt bad enough that they had to stop. Sure enough, to Bucky's immense relief, he paused once he was fully seated, eyes closed and head thrown back as he panted through the stretch of being filled so abruptly. 

Of course it didn't take him long to adjust and barely a ten seconds later he was already starting to rock back and forth, lifting himself up before sinking back down, a little faster each time. He looked so damn good like this, his muscles taut with the strain of his movements as he began to speed up in earnest, and it wasn't long before he was fucking himself on Bucky's cock, forcing himself up as high as he could only to slam back down hard enough to make the whole bed shake beneath them. 

"Yeah that's it, fuck, look at you," Bucky muttered mindlessly, unable to do much more than cling on for dear life, his fingers digging into Steve's hips with each increasingly frantic roll of his hips, "So hungry for it." 

"Bucky..." Steve moaned in response, planting both hands on his chest and shoving himself up almost violently, sinking down again just as roughly with a desperate keen, "Please, I need..." 

"What do you need?" he demanded, though he already knew the answer, knew his friend was never going to get what he really wanted like this, "Need more? Need me to _fuck_ you?" 

"Bucky, _please_ ," Steve nearly sobbed and with a sharp curse, Bucky stepped up to the plate. 

Shoving at the other man with most of his strength, he managed to maneuver him up high enough to slip free of his body, though the almost agonised whimper that caused nearly stopped him in his tracks. Still, he knew what Steve wanted and he knew just as well that he couldn't give it to him whilst flat on his back. Hauling himself upright instead, he pushed Steve over onto his stomach, settling between his thighs before yanking him up by the hips until he could slide right back into that tight, slick heat. 

" _Please_..." Steve started to beg again, only to cut himself off with a choked cry when Bucky gave him exactly what he wanted, pulling out almost completely before fucking in _hard_. 

He didn't stop at that either, not even giving the other man time to catch his breath before working himself up to an almost brutal rhythm, railing his friend as hard as he could. Each rough thrust punched a desperate sound from between Steve's lips, sharp little ' _uh-uh-uh_ 's interspersed with low keening moans and broken sobs, but Bucky didn't let up for a moment, clinging on to his own control by a thread as he kept up the punishing pace. 

"You wanna come, Rogers?" he panted finally, digging his fingers into the other man's hips. 

"Yes! Buck, please, _please_..." 

"Then touch yourself," he leaned over his friend's back, growling the words in his ear, even as he continued to pound into him. 

Obeying without question for what must have been one of the only times in his whole damn life, Steve shifted his weight, resting his head on one forearm as he shoved his free hand between his legs. From the way the other man clenched around him, Bucky could have guessed the exact moment he made contact even without the ragged moan he released as he finally wrapped his fingers around his neglected cock, jerking himself roughly. It only took a few strokes and then Steve was clenching down even harder, all but screaming as his release rocked through him. 

"That's it," Bucky crooned, slowing his thrusts a fraction, though he continued to chase his own climax, not even trying to hold it back now, "That's it." 

"Come on, Buck, your turn," Steve insisted between shuddering breaths, "Come in me." 

"Oh _fuck_ ," he groaned, the other man's words nearly dragging him over the edge all by themselves, a couple more thrusts doing the rest of the job and sending him flying. 

No longer able to hold himself up, he fell forward, collapsing onto his friend's back and driving them both down until Steve was flat on the bed, Bucky sprawled on top of him with his cock still buried in his ass. The other man must have been lying in the wet patch, but he didn't appear to mind, seemingly happy to remain exactly where he was, all but crushed between Bucky's body and the sheets, his eyes closed tight as he panted softly into his pillow. 

Knowing he should probably move, though his limbs really weren't on board with that idea just yet, he shifted his weight halfheartedly, absently turning his head to the side and inadvertently brushing his lips over the back of Steve's shoulder. At the contact, slight as it was, the other man shivered and suddenly Bucky's thoughts were filled with the last time they'd done this, of the way Steve had looked at him after... 

Without really meaning to, he repeated the movement a little more deliberately, sliding his mouth over the sweat slicked skin of his friend's back, before darting his tongue out to taste. 

"What-" Steve paused, swallowing audibly before trying again, "What are you doing?" 

"Want me to stop?" he asked rather than answering, not entirely sure himself what he was thinking just then. 

For a long while Steve stayed silent, eyes still shut tight and teeth clenched, almost as if stopping a response from escaping. He was quiet for so long in fact, that Bucky almost started to pull back, only for the other man to finally speak. 

"No," he whispered, more of a sigh than a word, but it was enough. 

Bucky nodded, letting his lips brush Steve's shoulder with each movement, but otherwise made no reply, focusing instead on the wide expanse of skin suddenly open to him. Pressing his mouth back down, he began kissing across his friend's back, tracing a path from one side to the other, stopping every now and then to lick and nibble, before continuing on his way until with one last bite, a little sharper than he'd intended, he finally pulled away. 

He felt Steve shudder beneath him as he belatedly withdrew from the other man's body, carefully holding the condom in place until he could safely remove it, tying it up and tossing it into the trash can. As soon as he was done, he lay back down on the bed, sprawling out beside his friend and staring hazily up at the ceiling. For the briefest of moments he did nothing more as he tried to calm his inexplicably racing heart, before his gaze inevitably slid to the man lying silently by his side. 

Steve hadn't moved an inch in the aftermath, his eyes still shut tight, face turned away, and without his permission, Bucky's own eyes seemed determined to take advantage. Raking over his friend's naked back, they traced the smooth expanse down to the pert curve of his ass and the strong muscles of his legs, only to slowly make their way up again, finally settling on the back of that achingly familiar blond head. 

"Ok?" he checked, wondering if his friend could hear the strange new softness in his voice. 

"Yeah," Steve murmured, finally turning to face him, "Thanks." 

"Any time," he winked and the other man's lips twisted up into a facsimile of a smile that he didn't know how to interpret. "Mind if I stay?" he asked instead, sticking to the script even as he wondered if _Steve_ would, or if this would be the time he finally kicked Bucky out. 

There was a half-second's hesitation that seemed to last an age, but then, "Long as you don't steal the covers." 

"I'd never," he dutifully recited, slipping beneath the sheets and immediately rolling over the same way he always did, only his grip on the comforter was loose, his focus on the sound of his friend shifting behind him. 

"Jerk," Steve murmured, tone just this side of fond as he yanked at the covers, releasing a low sound of surprise when for once Bucky didn't cling on to them. 

He had better things to do than play fight over the sheets however, and so he merely waited with baited breath for Steve's next line. 

He waited for so long, in fact, that he was beginning to think the other man wasn't going to speak up at all, but then, "Don't I get a goodnight kiss?" 

His usual response was on the tip of his tongue, the words fighting to escape, but he forced them back, turning instead to find Steve gazing down at him with that same look he'd seen the last time; soft affection tinged with pain and longing. Between one blink and the next it was gone, replaced by a startled expression, but Bucky was sure of what he'd seen. Without pausing long enough to start second guessing himself, he reached for Steve, hooking his hand around the back of his neck and drawing him down until he could capture the other man's lips with his own. 

It turned out to be a far cry from the perfect moment he might have envisioned and for several uncomfortably awkward seconds, Steve didn't respond at all, seemingly shocked into stillness. It was almost enough to send him running, but he knew what he'd seen on his friend's face and he had no intention of backing down that easy. Rather than letting up, therefore, he merely pulled Steve closer, pressed their mouths together harder, until, sure enough, the other man abruptly yielded to him, the tension draining out of him as he all but melted into Bucky's embrace. 

Better than Steve's surrender, however, was the way it felt when he finally began to respond. Not just playing the passive partner, but kissing him back in earnest; hot and hungry and fucking _hell_... What had Bucky been thinking to deny them both? He didn't think he'd _ever_ been kissed like this, so raw and desperate and yet so tender he thought he might cry. He'd certainly kissed his fair share of women back before the war and there had been more than a few who'd thought themselves in love with him. Some of them had even let him take them to bed and yet not a one of them had ever made him feel so _needed_. 

"Buck..." Steve breathed as he drew back, eyes wide. 

"How long?" he asked, aiming for gentle only for his voice to come out sounding rough and shaky. 

"Since the first time," Steve looked away, sucking in an unsteady breath, before visibly forcing himself to meet Bucky's eyes, "I didn't know it could be like that. No one's ever made me feel so good and I knew right away I wanted so much more, but..." he trailed off with a shrug, though he didn't look away again. 

"Why didn't you say anything?" 

"I tried to... I mean, I tried to kiss you after, didn't I? I _still_ try to." 

"And from that I was supposed to understand that you wanted more than casual sex?" he pressed, tone completely devoid of the teasing note that would usually have laced his words. 

"Well, no, but when you wouldn't kiss me, I figured you didn't want anything more and I didn't want you to stop so I kept quiet." 

"You're an idiot." 

"So, what's new?" 

Shaking his head with an exasperated chuckle, he caught Steve up in his arms again, tugging him down until he was sprawled over Bucky's chest, his face tucked under his chin and perfectly positioned for him to drop a kiss on the top of the other man's head. 

"Thought you said I needed a boyfriend if I wanted kisses and cuddles?" Steve muttered and there should have been an edge to his tone, but there wasn't. He was asking a genuine question, Bucky realised with a jolt. 

"I could be your boyfriend," he suggested casually, only realising as he said it how badly he wanted it. Apparently he was even more of an idiot than Steve, not that his friend needed to know that. 

"Really?" the other man's head jerked up, eyes wide and startled. 

The shock, however, was nothing compared to the hope in Steve's expression and it was almost too much for Bucky to bear. Rather than look at it for even a moment longer, he instead muttered a gruff "Yes", before kissing him soundly. 

"Buck, are you sure?" Steve pressed when he finally drew back and at that Bucky couldn't help rolling his eyes. 

"Do I need to send you an engraved invitation?" 

"I just don't want you agreeing to something you don't really want, just to make me happy." 

"I'd do damn near anything to make you happy, Rogers, and if you haven't figured that out by now you're more of an idiot that even I gave you credit for, but why would you think I don't want this too?" 

"I thought you liked keeping it casual." 

"I _liked_ having sex with you. I'm sure as hell not going to object to having _more_ sex." 

"But..." 

"But _what_ , Steve?" he tried not to sigh. 

"But then you could _only_ have sex with me." 

"As opposed to...? What the fuck do you think I've been doing?" 

"You go out with Nat sometimes and don't get home till dawn." 

"Do you know what time Nat's favourite club shuts? 4am. It shuts at four in the fucking morning and you know she's got the stamina to stick around till the bitter end. You thought I was sleeping with people? What the hell would make you think I'd let a stranger get anywhere _near_ me, let alone touch me the way you do?" 

"You knew what you were doing, even the first time..." 

"Are you familiar with the term 'pornography'?" 

"Bucky..." 

"No, don't _Bucky_ me. All this time you've thought I was fucking around behind your back?" 

"It's not like it was behind my back. We never made any promises to each other and-" 

"Like fuck we didn't. You're the one person I _have_ made promises to." 

If he was being honest, Bucky wasn't even sure why he was so mad. He knew Steve wouldn't have held it against him even if he _had_ still been the rake he was before the war, and he'd been pretty damn promiscuous back then. His best friend had known more than he'd likely ever wanted to about Bucky Barnes' near constant stream of girls and nowadays a string of one night stands probably wasn't all that different to the trail of broken hearts he'd once left across the city. If Steve hadn't judged him for it then, he sure as hell wasn't going to judge him for it now and besides, the other man was right. Theirs _was_ a casual arrangement and they certainly hadn't promised fidelity, but Steve was _hurting_ and whether Bucky had done anything or not, it still felt like his friend's pain was his fault. Like somehow he'd been hurting him on purpose. 

"Not like that," Steve said finally, his soft tone the polar opposite of Bucky's, "It was none of my business what you were getting up to and the fact is I was happier not knowing." 

"Right." 

"I'm sorry, Buck. I didn't mean to assume, I was just jealous, I guess. Makes me act like even more of a jerk than usual." 

"There hasn't been anyone. Not since the war," he finally managed to crack a smile, though he knew it didn't quite reach his eyes, "Of the two of us, you're definitely the one getting the action this century." 

"There hasn't been anyone for me since we started this," Steve waved his hand vaguely between them, "No one else stood a chance of competing against you." 

"Damn straight," he shot back, oddly charmed, despite himself. 

"Not sure having a boyfriend is particularly 'straight'," his friend smirked and for a moment all Bucky could do was blink at him. 

"You know what the best thing about this is?" he asked finally. 

"More sex?" 

"Besides that." 

"Do tell." 

"For once in our lives I can shut you up good and proper." 

"How-" Steve started, but Bucky didn't let him finish, the question melting into a startled " _Oh!_ " of pleasure as he captured his friend's, no, his _boyfriend's_ mouth with his own. 

"Exactly," he smirked when they broke for air, before cutting off any response Steve may have attempted to make with another spine-tingling kiss. 


End file.
